Cats and Their Fights

I wonder about lesbians.

Honestly, I could never like another girl.  I find it hard enough to get along with them on a friendship basis- let alone attempt a romance with one O.o

I have to say I agree with men on this one- girls/ladies/women are downright complicated, confusing, and catty. 

So, here's what's got my knickers twisted- someone wants to "work things out" with me.  We've been in a precarious place with each other for a looong time now, and I guess the time has bred anger in her... whereas, in me, time has healed some of the wounds and I've let my bygones be bygones.  She's declared that if I simply apologize for everything I've "done" to her, things will be just peachy keen between us again.  Only, haven't I been down that road before?  No matter how extensively I apologize for the things that, supposedly, I did to her, she hates me.  Even when I thought we were best friends, she hated me.

And, I mean, really I'm not even mad.  I care about this girl.  Like I said- as far as I'm concerned, she was, at one time, my closest and dearest friend.  I want things to go well for her.  I find joy in seeing her progression with the Lord.  She's growing up, maturing, finding more God, getting richer in her relationship with Christ, and that brings me joy!  I'm happy for her.  So no- there isn't even any anger in me towards her.

It's more like befuddlement.  She doesn't seem to actually want to get along, or work things out, or else she would have left her grudges in the past.  I think she just wants to "win".  I don't understand this- win what?  There's no competition here.  But I can't shake the feeling that, if I humble myself and apologize and admit everything is all my fault, it'll give her some sort of satisfaction that she is the victor.

And that's where the befuddlement comes in- if she truly wanted to work things out, with good intentions, I'd be glad to do so.  But if she simply wants to win... I'm not going to apologize just to give her a false sense of victory.  It goes back to my last few blogs- loving people right requires not seeking victory over them.  And I don't want victory- I want to give her the opportunity to learn from this situation.  I'd like to see it cause her to grow in the Lord.  But if she doesn't... then what? 

Do I apologize without sincerity- just to clear the air?

Do I not, and just allow her to keep hating me?

Do I really want to withstand the unwarranted personal attacks that I know will come with the attempt of working things out?

Well, the answer to that is clear; no way Jose. 

Lord, help me to be humble.  Help me to put my heart in the right place.  Provide me with the wisdom and guidance that I need to meet this situation in the most God-like way possible.  Thank you for having your hand on this situation- and most of all, thank you Lord for understanding women.  Amen <3 <3

On a lighter note- here's a picture of my puppy with a branch in his mouth.